Put the lime in my coconut

People will tell you that only two things are certain in life: death and taxes. But oh be wise my friends for I must warn you of a third certainty in life: men will always be pigs. Sorry folks but the news flash is out. No more secrets. No more men trying to convince women that they idolize them only to degrade them after watching porno five seconds later. Women everywhere: do not be fooled. What could I possibly say more? If I was to give one piece of advice and only one it would be that: do not be fooled by men. If you choose to marry one of these pigs you are doing it knowingly and purposefully. Just saying. No complaining since I have now warned ya'll.

On a slightly differing topic; I have decided that I would rather be bald then deal with my hair for one more second. Seriously. I mean think about it. All that wasted time shampooing the stuff? Such a lot of money per year. I wish someone would figure it out so I could hold in my hand the evidence that points to the obvious: go bald. Seriously. Or atleast get a mohawk. I mean if given the choice between this current mess of things and the mohawk I would be all over that sexy mohawk. But...sadly it would be against the dress code, blah, blah, blah. Dang it.

I think I should take a vote amongst friends. Those in favor of me getting a mohawk say aye. Oh boy. I hear the overwhelming ayes. Or are those the voices that whisper constantly in my head. I forget. So anyway looks like I am transferring to another college and getting a mohawk.

A person can dream, right?

I sure am sick of hair though. Seems like I spend a lot of time and energy trying to make it look good. Dang straighteners and blow dryers and protecting cream and brushing it all the time. And...I'm losing my hair anyway so why the freak not make it awesome?!? Just a thought.

ADD. Please excuse. Mind wanders.

So I was thinking tonight, while staring off into space, how am I doing after a few days of NTMM? And the thought that came to me was this; "All my body parts are intact, I seem to be feeling emotion in an acceptable range, and I don't feel TOTALLY suicidal so...guess I am ok. Think I'm a little fuzzy on the edges though." My assessment of the situation is to continue the process and tackle life the way it was meant to be tackled...with feeling.

Oh and I am a cherry...guess I have gotten too little sun the last two years...I am a white white girl. Wish those lazy days on high school were back. I used to lay out and get the most golden tans all summer long and I had all the time and energy and emotion to work out 24/7. Oh the days of the past. Wish they would come back. Now I just attempt not to stress out too hard core about school while sipping the one thing that calms me down these days beside the tranquilizers: diet coke.

Since NTMM recently, I have noticed I am sleeping a lot less. I lay restless in bed for hours and even when I sleep it is never the deep penetrating sleep that I used to have OTM. I am waking up again with panic attacks. I don't want to admit that it is happening but it is. I just can't stand not to have emotion and to gain weight and to sleep so deep I miss classes. Guess I just feel like it's time to stretch those wings. Not like therapy helps so why even bother fixating on my issues anymore? I might as well stop thinking about the past. It's done. Shit happened, but it's done. Time to man up and move forward. A small part of me still needs a moment of silence to mourn the loss of those years though.