How I feel about myself

It's been a crazy busy week. I woke up and sprinted off to work yesterday, then came home and did homework ALL day and night. I really wanted to go to the gym but by 10pm when I was done I didn't have it in me. I hate that I am buried under so much homework this semester. Note to self: If I ever become a professor, only require homework that is absolutely necessary.

I think about what's on my mind and what feels pressing and I find that nothing is. I don't feel stressed to get homework done really so I just plod through it and eventually it gets done. I just don't feel like there is much going on with dp or the ptsd besides my sleep and eating. I can't really seem to unfold what it is that is causing the restless nights and nightmares and as for the eating it's better than in previous times but worse than it once was. I suppose there are times I do really well at eating regular and healthy meals and other times where I don't eat or eat too much. It's funny because as I have been reflecting on my self esteeem and body image I think about what I like and do not like about myself. Couple weeks ago I once again realized I don't like my nose. Odd thing, I know.

I remember way back when I was twelve a girl said she liked my feet. Odd thing to remember but I do. I remember her saying it and I remember realizing that I agreed. I like my feet, always have. I'm ok with my legs. I think they are fine. They are muscular and not extremely chunky. I'm cool with them. And my arms, I'm cool with them too. They have never been flabby, always toned and muscular too. I like my arms but then I spend a lot of time working them out with weights. I even like my hands. They're fine. I don't mind that they are kinda big cus they are long and skinny. I like my ears. They're totally fine. I like my eyes. They are unique and stunning. I like my shoulders fine. I even like my hair mostly. I just like changing the color a lot.

Now the stuff I don't care for...lips. Mine are just I dunno not the way I like. I wish they were smaller or something. I don't like my chest or my stomach. First off, I did not ask not big boobs. Seriously. Worst thing about myself I think. If I had a butt load of money I would totally get rid of them, not joking. My sister and I talk about it all the time; she would get implants and I would get a reduction. Perhaps it seems silly that me not liking only a few things about myself would totally make me feel self-conscious but well it does.