Broken vases

It's a really odd thing but I have been feeling this really intense sort of rage towards people around me lately. I find myself completely pissed off at the girl who seems to dismiss everyone's concern as people being oddly too attached and yet I know I do the same thing myself. I know that I find people's attachment to me disturbing. I find that "Danny" attaching so quickly to me this week has me freaked out. I wonder what the hell I did to attract the attention and yet thriving on it.

I go on dbsa and find people going at one another as usual and I find that it turns me off and I find people who have to fight all the time, dull and uninteresting. And yet, those people are so odd. I mean why get riled up about it, right? But then there is a part of me that realizes that every single on of us on there is damaged in some way and jsut some do better at disguising it than others. I jsut think it is unfair for those who pretend so well that they are ok to go after those who so obviously aren't. I dunno. I find my self supremely ticked off that my name has not only been revealed needlessly but that someone continued to use it.

I suppose this anger, even rage, is stupid but friggin are you serious? I mean what the fuck? I am in class all day, stressed, then I go to the gym to relieve the build up if tension in my body adn then when I come home I find out that people are freaking out everywhere. It was attempted to get ahold of me amidst the freak out but still no one warned me nor really gave me a chance to respond. I jsut find all of it supremely disturbing and I feel I have lsot a sort of trust in everyone as a result, mostly one person, but all really. I know that my lack of trust and how it shatters so easily is a result of my life story and really most of the amazing people I know from the boards would never break my trust but...

I feel so IN my fucking head that I have to escape somehow. I feel that actions are at times unforgivable and I run from the offenders. I know I should try to work things out with people but I jsut sometimes find that once the vase is broken it jsut can't be put back together.