Gilmore Girls flashback

Lorelai: Okay, I think we just found the first room in the history of the world that would've made Liberace say 'Whoa. Step back. No one's that gay.'

Rory: Mom?
Lorelai: Oh.
Rory: You're happy.
Lorelai: Yeah.
Rory: Did you do something slutty?
Lorelai: I'm not that happy

Rory: So how was in seeing Max last night?
Lorelai: Well...
Rory: No gory details.
Lorelai: Like I've ever shared that part of my relationship with you.
Rory: You've alluded, you've insinuated, you have tiptoed to the brink of impropriety.
Lorelai: Hm, that Chilton has taught you some big words.
Rory: That's kind of the point.

Lorelai: Hey, I have kind of a crazy idea.
Rory: Those are never comforting words coming from you.

Lorelai: Hey, you didn't wake me up.
Rory: I set the clock.
Lorelai: Yes, but see, the clock stops ringing once I throw it against the wall giving me ample time to fall back to sleep. You, however, never stop yapping no matter how hard I throw you, thus insuring the wake up process.

Lorelai: Heh, you know what I just realized? "Oy" is the funniest word in the entire world.
Rory: Hmm.
Lorelai: I mean think about it, you never hear the word "oy" and not smile. Impossible. Funny, funny word.
Emily: Oh dear God.
Lorelai: "Poodle" is another funny word.
Emily: Please drink your drink, Lorelai.
Lorelai: In fact, if you put "oy" and "poodle" together, in the same sentence, you'd have a great new catchphrase, you know? Like, "Oy with the poodles already."
Rory: Hehe.
Lorelai: So from now on, when the perfect circumstances arise, we will use our favorite new catchphrase:
Rory: Oy with the poodles already.
Lorelai: I'm telling you, it's knocking "Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Willis?" right out of first place.

Lorelai: I miss Max.
Rory: I know.
Lorelai: I had a dream about him the other night.
Rory: Really? Dirty?
Lorelai: No. Absolutely not. And when you're 21, I'll tell you the real answer.

Lorelai: Okay, I'm lying in bed and I'm sleeping and I'm wearing this fabulous nightgown, and like thirty alarm clocks go off, and so I get out of bed and I walk downstairs, and there, standing is the kitchen, is Luke.
Rory: Was he naked?
Lorelai: No. He was making breakfast.
Rory: Naked?
Lorelai: Ok, you have been in Washington for way too long.

Rory: [to Logan as they enter his house for dinner] Remind me to tell you about the time my mom wore her rhinestone penis T-shirt to dinner and Grandma had her car towed.

Luke: Ow.
Lorelai: Luke, are you okay?
Luke: Stupid box. Stupid lamp.
Lorelai: Hey Luke, are you being attacked by your possessions again?

Rory: I can't even open my eyes.
Lorelai: That's okay, there's nothing to see. Kirk's in a Speedo, Taylor's in a skirt, Al's in assless chaps.
Rory: Oh my God, stop. I'm never gonna be able to close my eyes again.

Rory: Oh, look, babies.
Lorelai: I never wanna hear that come out of your mouth again.

Lorelai: Independence Inn.
Emily: You really should identify yourself when you answer the phone at work.
Lorelai: Sorry. Independence Inn, major disappointment speaking. Better?

Rory: Who are the rosary beads for?
Lorelai: They're mine.
Rory: What do you need rosary beads for?
Lorelai: They're cute.
Rory: They're for prayer.
Lorelai: Well, pray they match my blue suit.
Rory: They've just upgraded you to a queen-size bed, jacuzzi tub, junior suite in hell.

Lorelai: So, I think I'm in touch with the other side.
Rory: The other side of...?
Lorelai: The *other* side!
Rory: With Republicans...?

Rory: Here's the gin. It's brown, right?
Lorelai: I love that you think that.

[Emily has purchased a very small "panic room"]
Lorelai: Hey, let's test it out. I'm gonna get you.
[makes claws with her hands]
Emily: [annoyed] Oh, my God.
Lorelai: [attempting to be scary] You better get in there, 'cause I'm a bad guy. Baah!
Emily: Stop it.
Lorelai: I'm menacing. Panic, damn it. Come on

Lorelai: Ugh. There have been very few moments in my life where I have actually wished I had one of those enormous cream pies you can just smash in someone's face, but this is definitely one of them.